Tag: humor

It’s Time to Talk About Self-Checkout

4 Comments

20130203-163035.jpg

I made the mistake of going to the supermarket on Super Bowl Sunday. That was my first mistake. I got to the grocery store closest to me and realized it was packed, so I decided to drive the extra half a mile or so to the next grocery store where they have those guns that allow you to scan your groceries as you go, bag them directly in your cart and then breeze through self-checkout. I assumed this would cut at least a few frustrating minutes off of my trip. (I would have just skipped the trip but I needed breakfast for tomorrow and ingredients for banana bread to make use of the over-ripe bananas in kitchen.) I was wrong!

I realized quite some time ago that it was completely stupid to try and go through self- checkout with a basket full of groceries unless you’ve got backup to help you bag. If you try to do it all yourself, you slow down the process and if the store is busy, you piss everyone off.

Continue reading →

The Dark Side of Pinterest

4 Comments

We all do… unfortunately not everyone knows when it just isn’t worth documenting…

Here’s a bit of advice: if you’re feeling a little down, whatever you do, don’t browse the “Quotes” section of Pinterest. It will send you spiraling into a full blown depression for one of three reasons:

  1. The realization that there are people out there who actually believe some of the crap they post
  2. The bad spelling/copyediting
  3. The relative lack of actually good quotes and witticisms

Here is an assortment of some of the most terrible quotes I could find, many of which, I’m hoping, came from the diary of a melodramatic 15-year-old. If you don’t like snark, don’t continue. Continue reading →

Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

4 Comments

It’s a wonder we managed not to claw each other’s eyes out.

A (beautiful) friend of mine recently posted a link to this pitiful story by Samantha Brick on Facebook that made me simultaneously laugh out loud and want to throttle the writer. The title says it all, “Why Women Hate Me for Being Beautiful.” Here’s the gist:

While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.

This article presents you with an interesting conundrum as a reader, commenter, or critic. It’s clear that the writer will just assume you’re jealous if you dare to criticize her. In fact, that’s exactly what happened. There was a backlash and the writer’s response was basically, “This just proves I’m right.” Continue reading →