Category: Humor

Pokemon Go Teaches Us a Lesson About Racism

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A couple of days ago I went to visit a friend, and she told me a story that stuck with me as the single most of-the-moment tale I’ve ever heard. I decided it needed to be told to a wider audience.

You’ve heard about Pokemon Go, right? If not, you have somehow successfully avoided the internet, the local news, and pop-culture as a whole for the past week, and I salute you. Basically, an augmented reality game meant for children has taken over the world, and adults are now wandering around staring at their mobile devices looking for “hidden” cartoons.

slim Continue reading →

No, YOU Smile!

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I have a new hobby. I like refinishing furniture. I don’t mean that I take beautiful old antiques and bring them back to life. I find junk at Goodwill or the dump, slap some paint on it, and unload it on Craigslist. This is how I found myself standing in front of a wall of spray paint in my local hardware store. I had a can in my hand and was examining the label when a man in a headset and vest stopped and said, “And how are you doing young lady?”

“I’m good, thanks,” I said and went back to my label.

“You’re not smiling so you can’t be doing that well.”

I looked at him as if to say, “Not smiling while reading the label on a can of spray paint? Dude, if you see someone grinning while reading the label on a can of toxic chemicals, you can be pretty sure she is going to huff it behind your store. Do not sell it to her!”  Continue reading →

Donald Trump: Man of the People?

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Hahahahaha!

Sorry, I’m done laughing now. According to Slate’s Jamelle Bouie, the reason a recent CNN poll puts The Donald in second place among GOP candidates is:

“…unlike the professional politicians in the race, Trump is—from his views on immigration to the ‘issue’ of Obama’s citizenship—one of them.”

This is sad, but probably true. There is only one response to anyone who thinks Trump is just like them:

Hoarders: The HGTV Edition

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HGTV has come to Netflix. I assume the House Hunters and Love It or List It collections were released in time to coincide with cold, rainy fall weather that keeps people like my shut up in the house, drinking tea, eating soup, and staring at the walls thinking about all the things we would change. Here’s the thing, though: If you watch Love It or List It back to back, you start to realize that about 75% of the people are just slobs/hoarders who don’t know when to stop having children. The people on this show are just lucky that HGTV showed up at their doors before TLC and the Hoarders crew.

Yes, sometimes you get people who genuinely have a mess of a house. Their kitchens are falling apart, their windows leak, and the walls are drafty. But most of them could get by with hiring a professional organizer and buying some new furniture. Alternatively, they could stop having kids, because more often than not the big problem seems to be that the kids’ toys are EVERYWHERE! A simple trip to IKEA could solve all their woes.  Continue reading →

I Am Bootleg Rory Gilmore

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You may have noticed a plethora of Gilmores Girls-themed internet posts lately. This is because GILMORE GIRLS IS COMING TO NETFLIX! This is such a big deal that even the New York Times had to get in on the action.

This is one my favorite shows of all times, folks. I love the shit outta that show. I’ve created more than one fellow Stars Hollow groupie in my day. And while this is a show filled with relatable, lovable characters, I feel especially close to Rory…’cause I’m kind of her. Here are the ways I am like Rory Gilmore:

  • We were both born and raised in Connecticut
  • We both grew up with single mothers
  • We are both very close to our grandparents
  • We both got Priuses in college (I bought mine, unlike Rory)
  • We both became journalists
  • We both have blue eyes
  • We both have Asian-American friends who grew up in strict religious households and rebelled

We’re basically the same person. I’ve actually thought about suing the show…but that just doesn’t seem like the Gilmore Spirit.

Anyway, if you haven’t already discovered the wonders of Star Hollow, Connecticut, be sure to binge watch Gilmore Girls ASAP. It is one of the smartest, more literate television shows to even grace the airwaves. And what other show boasts guest appearances by Normal Mailer, Carole King, Christian Amanpour, and Madeleine Albright? NONE!

Welcome to Sochi: The Schadenfreude Olympics

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My Sochi schadenfreude knows no bounds. Between the homophobia, the “disappeared” Orcas, and the general gangsterism I can understand why some people might boycott the Sochi Winter Olympics. I don’t particularly care about the games, but I love seeing Putin fail so publicly.

And I can’t help but wonder is this…like… the Russian Village People? And is this considered gay propaganda?

I’m barely old enough to remember the Cold War. I was in elementary school when the Berlin Wall fell, but there is some weird, deeply patriotic part of me that just loves to see the Russian government flounder on such a public stage. And the tantalizing tid-bits that are filtering out about the open ceremonies are just too much. The ring that didn’t light up. The weird militaristic Daft Punk cover (I was wondering who Russia could trot out to perform a musical number. I mean, they don’t exactly have a Paul McCartney waiting in the wings, but I never thought it would be this hilarious.)

I may pop the cork on a bottle of champagne to watch this and let my inner-German emerge.

Currier, Ives, and My Farmhouse Addiction

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I have a problem. I spend hours on the internet searching websites for…

farms…

and adoptable barnyard animals.

I blame Currier & Ives. Wouldn’t you want to live here? —–>

My addiction recently grew much more serious when I was introduced to landandfarm.com.

It won’t be long before I lose my job and am living out of my car because I can’t stop browsing all the quintessential New England farms that I want to live on, and then search for adoptable critters to fill up the barns and fields with.  Continue reading →